Tuesday, January 20, 2009

50's Housewife Meets A Modern Day New Yorker

So a colleague of mine found this article on AOL the other day pertaining to ways a woman can keep her man happy. We laughed our asses off which was abruptly followed by confusion and utter disbelief. Here is the article – what is your opinion?

13 Ways to Keep Your Husband Happy
by Diane Gottsman

Okay ladies, we have already talked about what men can do to keep you happy (14 Ways To Keep Your Wife Happy); now let's take a look a few things you can do to show respect to your hubby and keep him smiling.

1. After washing your beautiful locks, don't forget to pick up your hair from the shower drain. It may not bother you but he doesn't like untangling your hair from his big toe.

2. Be understanding of his work schedule. An occasional afternoon call to see when he will be home is fine but when you begin to stalk him daily at 5:01, his boss starts waiting for your call.

3. Let him play with his friends. As long as they are not 5'9, single, intelligent, beautiful and looking for a husband. Seriously, guys need guy friends to hang out with and do boy stuff. Your husband will be happier and won't be so impatient when your girlfriends call you during dinner, breakfast, lunch and sex.

4. Speaking of..., don't let yourself go. That doesn't mean you must maintain a certain weight or length of hair for the sake of your marriage, but it is a gesture of love to take pride in your appearance. You may expect the same from him and you both deserve a mate that is clean, showered, shaved and cares about their health.

5. Buy your own razor. Quit sneaking his razor out of his bathroom to shave your legs and underarms then attempt to conceal the offense by drying it off with his face towel so it doesn't get yours dirty and put it back as if you never used it. (Yes, I have personal experience and he always knows!!!)

6. Compliment him, genuinely and often. Let him know how much you appreciate the little and the big things he does for you and the family. Taking out the trash may be part of his "routine," but acknowledging his efforts will keep him motivated to continue.

7. Don't hide the credit card bills. Be honest with him, even if it hurts. It's better to hear the truth from you than your creditors.

8. Take the initiative to practice random acts of kindness. Don't wait for Valentine's Day or his birthday to buy him a little "love gift" or write him a love letter. Hug him going out the door in the morning and coming back in the door at night. He's going to wonder what you are up to!

9. Don't talk bad about his parents or his siblings. It's difficult to kiss someone that just called his mother a tarantula and his father an orangutan. Remember that he is an offspring of that union, which would make him a tarangutan and you the tarangutans bride.

10. Treat him like you did when you first started dating. Don't forget simple words such as "please," "thank you" and "excuse me."

11. Remember all those bodily functions you tried to keep discreet while you were in the throes of wooing him? Just because you have been married several years and are very comfortable around your beloved doesn't mean you can now blow, snort and pick to your heart's content.

12. Plan a date night to do something he loves, even if you don't. Instead of seeing the latest chick flick, compromise and see an action movie and go to dinner at a place you mutually enjoy. Have a couple of glasses of wine so you can sleep through the car chases.

13. Never go to bed angry. Cliché, yes, but true. A well-rested husband is a happy husband-it's much better to go to bed next to someone that you can curl up next to, rather than someone you must put pillows in between.

Now, I am far from being one of those feminists from my women’s rights class at UCONN that felt it necessary to throw slanderous comments my way as I was 21 years old and engaged, however, I am definitely not the 50’s housewife in her apron who’s lacking a career and a working brain. My husband would be the first to tell you I am opinionated, rarely thinks before speaking, and sure as hell independent. Yet, this article really caught me off guard! Especially the reader comments at the bottm. Since when did AOL decide there were “rules” that needed to be put in place to please your man? Shouldn’t marrying your best friend, sharing goals, or enjoying time together be enough? Out of these “13 commandments” I’ve broken every f’ing one! And my husband still loves me – or at least he says he still does.

I think author Diane Gottsman and I need to have a sit down.

No comments: