Wednesday, June 25, 2008

New York City Subways

My posts lately seem to be dripping with negativity. Truly, I don’t think of myself as a pessimistic person. The daily meds plus twice a week therapy sessions have really helped (just joking)! However, I once knew someone like that, but let me tell you, she’s a post all to herself! Today I woke up happy and relaxed; showered and enjoyed my animal house for a few moments before I jetted to work. Now, here is where the day took a turn for the worst. The moment I got on the subway I whipped out my book and tuned everything out. It’s the few moments of my day I cherish the most. But today I was surrounded by wackos and weirdos. And on top of their mental illnesses they were f’ing rude. Now I’ve heard the subway in Tokyo is the worst in the world, but New York has got to be a close second. I got pushed and shoved BEFORE the doors even opened and I was thrown inside and rough housed until I settled in a 6 inch by 6 inch space. So again I tune everything out and open up my novel, Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk (Check him out. He’s psychotic and should be a straight jacket living in a padded cell, but the man is genius).

As I get to the end of the page I need to pause because the subway is so crowded I can’t move to turn the page, so I am forced to wait until the next stop. I look up and a man dressed in professional attire is across from me staring off into space. He’s learning against the pole preventing everyone around him from holding on. And then it happens. The strangest, most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed. He starts stroking the pole, and then his lips get closer and closer until he’s actually kissing the f’ing pole. Now not just little pecks, I'm talking about full on tongue and lip attaction. At the same moment everyone around the pole tries to back up to give this man some room. This continues until we get to 59th street – his stop, where the suit wearing, pole loving freak then picks up his briefcase and proceeds to work. I’m shocked. Absolutely appalled. The moral of this story. Manhattan is a filthy city. Make sure to wash your hands after your ride the subway.

1 comment:

John White said...

By the way I read this book by Chuck Palahniuk, it was sick; my kind of stuff.