Friday, July 11, 2008


I’ve just finished week 1 of Invisalign. Approximately 353 days left to go (not that I’m counting or anything). For anyone thinking of Invisalign - orthodontists lie! No pain, not invasive my ass! The trays hurt and they are uncomfortable. I just keep telling myself pain is beauty (or so I’ve been told).

I used to think it was appalling when I would see someone in public (kids more so than adults) removing from their mouths a retainer or something of the sorts. Now I am that person. Turning my head to face the wall, inconspicuously trying to yank out the trays without pulling a tooth out along with it. Then quietly wrapping my trays in a napkin before I eat. Oh that’s me alright. I’m staying away from the trendy Manhattan hotspot eateries for the next year.

I believe there are two points orthodontists purposely fail to mention when you first start this process. First, there are anchors. This little, awful square pieces of plastic that are glued to selected teeth that need to move the most. They look as though I have last night’s dinner still stuck in my teeth. They tend to fall out a lot, hence more trips to the dreaded orthodontist chair.

Secondly, there is the filing. Oh yes the filing. Due to my overcrowding problem my doc needs to make room between certain teeth for movement. The tool she uses is basically metal sandpaper. It’s the devils tool. Before you go to heaven and you’re paying for your sins in hell, I believe this is what the devil uses. This tool alone would have made me opt out of Invisalign. Damn, I would have lived with crooked teeth for the rest of my life if I had known about this evil tool before I dropped a couple of grand into this process.

In all honestly though, I couldn’t be more excited about this. To be able to smile wide and have confidence in how my teeth look is just so exciting for me. Ask my husband, I’ve cried about this prospect a few times. Yes, I cry a lot. I am emotional. Either way I’ll be living off of aspirin and wine for the next year to deal with the pains of this process.

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